lately, i’ve been feeling… i have no idea what i’m doing. 

i’ve read every single thought catalog blog post about being 23. i’ve spent a sick amount of time taking personal quizzes online and self reflections. i’ve called my sister and my mom so much, they’re more than annoyed at this point i bet. i’ve written in my journal, i’ve read a book called “adulting”and i reached out to college professors and mentors. and soooo yaaa i get it – maybe, it’s a bit over the top and drastic, call me crazy – wuuutever. it’s been quite the journey trying to “figure it out” and analyze what my purpose in life is. what my next step is. 

allow me to let you in on the journey thus far:



count me in. how could you go wrong?

and then when i asked michael what i should do with my life he said “you shouldn’t be a wife because you might be bad because you actually like superhero’s and playing tag and that’s what husbands do with their kids, but sometimes you make me color and that’s what girls do but maybe be a spanish teacher” 



solid answer kiddo. kids rock. that’s all there is to it. kids rock rock rock. ps. maybe i should learn spanish before i think about this one any further..

and then i turned to one of my very best friends mr. brian patrick ashburn:



so there’s always that too. 


or last week robert, tyler, michael and i channeled our inner skateboarder self which was pretty badass even though none of knew what in the world we were doing, it was fun. embarassing for us being there were some pretty serious serious boarders at the park – but we put on our boarder faces and went for it. skateboarder pro? maybe. anything is possible. 


and then i met some super saweeeet people this last weekend and Claire, she researches cures for cancer. she is curing cancer. so i’ve been contemplating doing that, because – that sounds frickin sweeet. 


but then again, i saw this bubble man in central park this weekend… he was a bubble performer. that’d be a pretty neat path to go down in life. 



or maybe i can search the forests and trails full of nature with my boys forever. nature is neat-o. 

i also went on a rad date this last week with an engineer who designed door locks. designing door locks is such a unique career path – how cool.


i took my boys and their cousin to this super neat-o discovery museum. we had a blast. kids are so fun to watch at museums – they are excited about learning and so curious! me, yea – it was really flipping sweeeeeeet and i thought – astronaut? would that not be cool. 

so here’s what i’ve concluded from trying to “figure it out” – it’s lame sauce x21930820398.

why stick to one thing. why are we all trying to figure it out. how boring to be settled. seriously. i want to do and see everything. i want to be everything i can be. my life these days is UNREAL. it’s truly unbelievable. straight out of a book. 

and who knows, maybe i will end up moving to italy and eating pasta or becoming an astronaut. they both seem fun. 

no one is telling me i can’t. 

no one is telling you that you can’t. 

go for it. do you. 






One thought on “

  1. It’s so crazy how in sync we are– I’ve been feeling the exact same way. Up until this point we’ve had all these classes & professors preparing us for the “real world” and once we graduated they all acted like we would automatically have it together. UMMMM WHAT? No way. There’s 48472048391 different things that I’m interested in and I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing! I love when you said “why stick to one thing. why are we all trying to figure it out. how boring to be settled.” seriously girl, nailed it.

    ALSO.. glad to see your date went better than mine 😉

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